The Power of Gratitude: Finding Gratefulness During the Tough Times by Sarah Hart, MA, LCPC
With the holidays arriving quickly, particularly Thanksgiving, people tend to throw the words gratitude, gratefulness, thankful and blessed around. For some, this can bring about difficult emotions and questions such as “what am I grateful for?” or even more challenging, “am I grateful at all?” Additionally, such questions can lead to feeling alone and anxious about upcoming holidays where we are “supposed” to feel a certain way. So, how do we deal with such tricky thoughts and feelings?
First and foremost, lets talk about the definition of gratitude. According to dictionary.com, grateful means being warmly, deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful. In some moments of our life, the feelings of appreciation for others or things may come naturally and easily. However, during tough and trying times, we may feel as if we do not have very many things to feel appreciative for, which makes this concept difficult. While there are some ways to cope with this, it is always important to validate your emotions as real and fair. It is okay and understandable to feel the way that you feel, regardless of the time of year or expectations surrounding a certain holiday.
Validate, validate, VALIDATE!
Second, it is helpful to understand and adopt the concept of the dialect of emotions, an essential part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This means that it is important to grasp that an individual can experience two conflicting emotions simultaneously. For example, someone can feel depressed AND grateful. This may be confusing at first; however, once we accept the AND statement, it gives us more power and freedom to feel a range of emotions. This can be especially powerful when struggling over holidays where an individual may be experiencing depression, grief, anxiety, or trauma. It is a reminder that one can struggle AND still have positive experiences and thankfulness at the SAME TIME.
Another vital aspect is to create new positive experiences. If this time of year is particularly difficult or filled with negative memories, create new positive memories! It can be extremely beneficial to mental health to fill our time with encouraging and support people in positive environments. This may look like the creation of new traditions, setting certain boundaries, or even doing less.
Last, but certainly not least, gratitude journals have been found to make a significant difference in helping aid individuals in daily positivity. Not only are they guided tools that focus on thankfulness, but most gratitude journals help identify a range of emotions (both positive and negative), accomplishments, and positive affirmations. Some may be geared towards an entry in the morning and evening and usually take moments of your time each day. Take back the power of gratitude in your life while also allowing yourself to experience all emotions.
