Distorted Thoughts and How to Manage Them by Alyssa Melvin, MA, LPC
We are all prone to an occasional irrational thought. For some of us, these happen more consistently, so much so, that they become our automatic way of thinking. We tend to experience distorted thoughts, or cognitive distortions, much more often when experiencing a “negative” emotion (and I say this in quotes, since none of our emotions should be labeled!). We are likely not experiencing cognitive distortions when we are feeling joyful, or excited, or at peace. These are thoughts that we typically have when we are anxious, stressed, depressed, or feeling insecure.
There are many different types of cognitive distortions, and sometimes it can be helpful to categorize them so that one can work to acknowledge when they might be experiencing an irrational thought pattern. While many exist, here are a few common ones that most, if not all, of us experience:
Catastrophizing
This is when we think or believe that the worst possible thing is going to happen, even if we have very little, or no, evidence to support that thought being true, or that “thing” coming to fruition (i.e. you believe that you will be fired for being ten minutes late to work.)
Forecasting
This is when we catastrophize multiple things at once, and think one bad thing will lead to another and another, etc. (Think about the visual forecast map a meteorologist shows on the news!) (i.e. you will be fired for being ten minutes late to work, then you will be unable to pay your rent, then you will become evicted, and so on.)
Mind-Reading
This is when we assume that we know what someone else is thinking or feeling about us without any verbalized proof (i.e. you believe that someone thinks that you are a bad friend because you missed their phone call.)
Personalization
This occurs when we personalize a situation that may have nothing to do with us (i.e. the cashier did not tell you to “have a nice day,” so you must have done something wrong.)
Black-or-White Thinking
This is often referred to as “All-or-Nothing” thinking, and occurs when we think in absolutes, leaving no room for “gray.” (i.e. you either got a perfect score on your exam, or you failed.)
Emotional Reasoning
This thought happens when we believe that our emotions are facts. (Our feelings are valid and true to us, but that does not necessarily mean that they are a true fact in the world.) (i.e. “I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.”)
The thing about cognitive distortions is that, while natural and normal, they become much more automatic the more often we are experiencing anxiety, distress, depression, etc., resulting in difficulty identifying and rationalizing these thoughts. Below are some tips and tricks to combat distorted thoughts and work to overcome irrational thinking patterns:
Use Fact-Checking
Make a list, either mental or physical, of evidence you have to support the distorted thoughts vs. evidence you have against it. Be sure to take an objective stance when doing so!
Consult with a Trusted Source
Take your thought to someone whom you trust who can assist you with fact-checking. Sometimes even verbalizing the cognitive distortion out loud can help us see how irrational the thought really is!
Separate Yourself from the Situation
Imagine that someone you know whom you believe to be a rational individual is coming to you with that distorted thought; How would you respond?
Ask Yourself, “How Long This Will Matter?”
Putting the stressor into perspective by identifying how “big of a deal” it really is (even if it were true) can be a helpful way to ground oneself.
Remember, cognitive distortions are a human experience; they are not exclusive to eating disorders, anxiety disorders, or depression. All of us experience irrational thought patterns at some time or another - it will take practice to identify when they might be happening. Be mindful to remind yourself that these are just thoughts! They are not facts.
If you find yourself struggling, please reach out to Lotus Therapy Group at 708-552-7330.
