Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Samantha Maciaga, MA, LCPC
On average, human beings have 70,000-80,000 thoughts in one day. With an amount that high, it’s safe to say that we are almost always thinking. And that is such a great part about us – we have the ability to think, problem solve, plan ahead, create new ideas, teach our children, collaborate with colleagues, and so much more. The thoughts that our minds generate greatly help us function on a daily basis.
But what about when they don’t? What happens when you have a negative thought? Or a self-doubting thought? Or a worried thought? What do you do when your thoughts do not feel so helpful, but rather feel that they are hindering you or limiting you?
First of all, let’s normalize negative thoughts. No matter how positive someone might be, everyone has negative thoughts to some extent. As humans, we even tend to have a negativity bias. According to psychologist Rick Hanson, we have a “Velcro” mind for the bad and a “Teflon” mind for the good. Granted, some do struggle with negativity more than others, but it is actually impossible for anyone to eliminate all negative thoughts. So, let’s talk about what you can do when these unpleasant thoughts arise.
Thankfully, we have some options!
If you are finding that you have a plethora of negative thoughts in your mind, the first thing you can do is to get some separation from those thoughts. You can imagine that these negative thoughts are on Post-It notes (you can even try to do this). These thoughts are not who you are–they are actually completely separate from you. Sometimes when you feel inundated with negative thoughts, it helps to figuratively or literally take a step back and observe these thoughts rather than automatically getting caught up in them.
Another option is to turn your mind toward the present moment. When someone is thinking negatively, I almost always notice that this mental process is taking them out of the present moment. If you are caught up in your head, you are not present in what is taking place right in front of you. So, you can practice catching yourself when you have gotten caught up in unhelpful thoughts then bring your attention to what really matters. Life is happening in front of you, not between your ears.
In addition to this, you can also envision that your negative thoughts are just background noise. Remember that it is not possible to just stop every negative thought from happening, but you can control what you do when negative thoughts arise. You have a choice. What you water is what will grow. So, you can choose how much time and attention you are giving to these negative thoughts. The more you turn toward these thoughts, the more they will grow. Inversely, the more attention you give to the moment at hand, the easier it will be to stay present.
So, the next time, the negative thoughts patterns begin, notice it, label it as just a thought not a fact. Then, take a step back and choose where you want to turn your focus.
This is just scratching the surface. A lot of mental health problems come with excessive negative thoughts as a symptom. So, if you feel like you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or negative thinking that seems difficult to handle, contact Lotus Therapy Group at 708-552-7330 or email us at lotustherapygroup@gmail.com.
