Body Confidence: Building a Safer Relationship With Your Body by Lisa Carroll, MS, RD, LDN
In therapy, we often hear clients say they want to “feel confident” in their bodies. What they’re usually describing isn’t a desire to love their appearance every day—it’s a desire for relief. Relief from constant self-monitoring, criticism, comparison, and the feeling that their body is a problem to be solved.
Body confidence, from a therapeutic lens, is not about achieving body positivity. It’s about developing a safer, more respectful relationship with the body you live in.
Body Confidence Is Not Body Control
Many clients have learned that confidence is something that comes after control—after weight loss, strict routines, food rules, or pushing the body past its limits. These strategies are often reinforced by diet culture and productivity culture, yet they frequently increase anxiety, shame, and disconnection from internal cues.
In therapy, we explore how control-based approaches can temporarily create a sense of safety while ultimately eroding trust in the body. Body confidence grows not through control, but through attunement—learning to notice and respond to the body’s signals with curiosity rather than judgment.
What oftentimes makes sense is easily overlooked. I see this happen frequently with clients. It makes sense that our bodies will feel better with gentle nutrition, adequate sleep and positive self-care. When our body feels better our relationship with our body can improve and thus our internal body confidence can increase. Again, this makes sense, but diet culture has made body confidence feel like something that comes from pain and punishment rather than love and respect.
Shifting From Appearance to Experience
A key therapeutic shift is moving from evaluating the body as an object to experiencing it as a living system. When the body is treated primarily as something to be observed and judged, clients often feel disconnected, anxious, or stuck in cycles of comparison.
Therapeutic work around body confidence invites clients to reconnect with the body as a source of information:
Hunger and fullness
Fatigue and the need for rest
Emotional sensations such as tension, heaviness, or warmth
Signals of stress, safety, or overwhelm
This embodied awareness supports nervous system regulation and helps clients build internal trust—an essential foundation for healing.
The Role of Self-Compassion in Body Confidence
For many clients, the internal dialogue about their body is critical or punitive. This voice is often internalized from past experiences, cultural messaging, or trauma—not a personal failure.
In therapy, we work to soften this inner narrative by cultivating self-compassion. This does not mean forcing gratitude or positivity toward the body. Instead, it means acknowledging discomfort without adding shame and learning to respond to the body with care rather than punishment. It is important to allow ourselves to feel our feelings and that includes our feelings about our body while developing acceptance and respect of those feelings.
Even neutral statements—“This is hard today” or “My body is doing the best it can”—can be powerful therapeutic tools.
Body Confidence as a Practice, Not a Destination
Body confidence is not a static state. It fluctuates with stress, illness, life transitions, aging, and trauma recovery. In a therapeutic context, this variability is expected—not evidence of failure.
Clients are supported in building flexible skills that allow them to stay connected to their bodies even during difficult seasons. This may include:
Reducing body checking and comparison behaviors
Setting boundaries around appearance-focused conversations
Choosing comfort and function over punishment
Practicing gentle, attuned movement
Exploring the intersection of identity, culture, and body image
Over time, these practices foster resilience and a sense of internal safety.
What Progress Often Looks Like in Therapy
Progress with body confidence is often subtle and deeply meaningful. It may look like:
Eating with less guilt and more presence
Noticing body signals earlier and responding sooner
Wearing clothes that support comfort and self-expression
Attending social events with less preoccupation about appearance
Experiencing the body as an ally rather than an adversary
These shifts support broader therapeutic goals, including reduced anxiety, improved mood, and increased engagement in life.
Moving Toward Respect, Not Perfection
At its core, therapeutic work around body confidence is about respect—not perfection. Clients do not need to love their bodies or feel confident at all times to make meaningful progress. They need space to explore their relationship with their body in a way that feels safe, supported, and free from pressure.
In therapy, body confidence becomes less about how the body looks and more about how it feels to live inside it.
If body image concerns, disordered eating patterns, or chronic self-criticism are impacting your well-being, working with a therapist can provide a compassionate space to begin building a more supportive relationship with your body.
To learn more or connect with someone from our team please reach out to Lotus Therapy Group at 708-552-7330 or email us at lotustherapygroup@gmail.com.
