Grief and the Power of Connection by Briea Frestel, LCSW, CADC
People experience a multitude of emotions every single day. We move through noticeable emotional shifts daily, while also carrying many subtler feelings beneath the surface. Working with people has allowed me to witness just how fluid emotional experiences can be. But there is one emotional experience that consistently stands out to me: grief.
Grief is the complex, natural response to significant loss. It can involve deep sadness, yearning, anger, confusion, isolation, and even physical symptoms. Grief is highly individual and often unpredictable in how it shows up for each person and each loss. Every single one of us will experience grief in some form during our lifetime. I find grief to be one of the most universally understood human experiences — yet often one of the least openly discussed and validated. Perhaps that is because we tend to think of grief as singular and linear, rather than multifaceted and complex.
To better understand that complexity, let’s look at the many forms grief can take.
Types of Grief
Acute (“Normal”) Grief
The most recognized form of grief following a loss. It may include crying, longing, and preoccupation with the loss of a person, pet, relationship, job, or life transition. It tends to come in waves and, over time, gradually softens but it never fully disappears.
Anticipatory Grief
This occurs before a loss happens. It is often seen in the context of terminal illness or impending change. It can include sadness, anxiety, guilt, and sometimes even relief.
Complicated or Prolonged Grief
Grief that remains intense and disruptive beyond what is culturally expected (often beyond 12 months). A person may feel stuck, struggle to accept the loss, or begin to believe that life has no meaning without what was lost. This type of grief may benefit from specialized grief therapy.
Disenfranchised Grief
Grief that is not openly acknowledged or socially supported. Because others may minimize the loss or we have be taught through societal norms not to talk about it, it can feel especially isolating. Examples include miscarriage, pregnancy loss, abortion, the loss of a friendship, the death of a pet, job loss, or loss related to addiction or suicide.
Delayed Grief
Sometimes a person feels numb immediately following a loss, and emotional reactions are postponed. Grief may emerge months or even years later, often triggered by another loss or life event.
Collective Grief
Grief experienced by a community or group. Natural disasters, racism, political violence, school shootings, and cultural tragedies can create shared mourning and shared trauma.
All of these forms of grief can also include:
Secondary Loss — grieving not only the person or situation, but what the loss changes: financial security, daily routines, identity, or future plans.
Ambiguous Grief — grief without clear closure, such as estrangement, missing persons, or dementia in a loved one. The lack of finality can complicate healing and sometimes lead to prolonged grief responses.
A person can experience multiple types of grief simultaneously.
Grief is layered… It evolves and revisits.
The Often Overlooked Element: Connection
Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is important to remember that these stages are not linear. Not everyone experiences all of them, and they are not a checklist for healing. They are simply emotional themes that may surface and resurface over time. There is one component of grief that I believe is frequently overlooked — and that is connection.
Grief can be physically exhausting, disorienting, and spiritually heavy. When we experience loss, isolation and numbness can feel like the only options. In both my professional and lived experience, connection is often the anchor when you don’t know up from down.
So how do we connect during grief?
Connect to the Bare Minimum
Grief often shifts us into survival mode. Just because the world continues at a performative pace does not mean you have to.
Reschedule nonessential commitments
Let the house be imperfect
Give yourself permission to stop rather than run on empty
Connect to Your Body
Our nervous systems are wired for stabilization, try to care for yourself with the basics. Food, water, sleep.
Hydrate and eat what feels simple and comforting
Protect your sleep with consistent rest times
Engage in gentle movement like walking, stretching, or restorative yoga
Connect to Your Emotions
Set aside intentional, gentle time for emotional expression rather than suppressing feelings. Creating contained space for emotion can prevent emotional flooding and help integrate grief into your evolving “new normal.”
Set a timer for 10 minutes to sit with your emotions
Allow yourself to cry or smile at the love you carry
Journal (yes, therapists recommend it for a reason)
Talk out loud about your loss
Connect to Your People
Connection does not have to mean deep processing every time, but isolation can intensify suffering.
Let others check in on you
Text one safe person
Sit beside someone without needing to explain everything
Share your loss when and if you feel ready
Grief can bring isolation, depression, anxiety, and even unhealthy coping mechanisms. But it can also deepen gratitude, compassion, and connection — if we allow ourselves to lean toward others instead of away from them.
Over time, grief shifts. It may show up in a beautiful sunset, a cardinal in the yard, a ladybug crossing your path. The love you carry does not disappear, it changes form.
I cannot promise that your grief will feel better. But I can promise this: your world can grow bigger around it. You can become more skilled at existing alongside it.
Grief is not something we “get over.” It is something we learn to carry.
And in carrying it, we often learn to love more intentionally, slow down more consciously, and hold others more closely.
You are worthy of connection, not in spite of your grief, but within it.
A quote I will leave you with:
“Grief is like glitter. In the beginning, it's everywhere — on your hands, in your hair, scattered across every corner of your life. You try to clean it up, to restore some sense of order. And for a while, it seems like you've succeeded. But then, one day, you move a sofa or open a forgotten drawer, and there it is again — a tiny sparkle that catches the light and reminds you of what you lost.
It doesn't go away completely. It settles, becomes quieter, less overwhelming. You learn to live with it, to carry it gently. And years later, when you find a bit of that glitter tucked behind a shelf, you might smile. Maybe even laugh. Because it reminds you of love, of connection, of someone who mattered deeply.
Eventually, something will catch your eye — a photo, a favorite song, a familiar scent — and instead of pain, you'll feel warmth. That's the quiet truth about grief. It stays with you, but it changes. It becomes a part of your story, a soft echo of the love that never really left.”
-Author Unknown
If you’d like support or more information, contact Lotus Therapy Group at 708-552-7330 or email lotustherapygroup@gmail.com.
